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Friday, February 3, 2012

Distracted...Worried...Fearful...JOYFUL!



Distracted...that's what I am.


I don't know why I cannot keep focused on anything... I cannot seem to even pick up a paint brush.



Well, maybe I do know why...
      MacDaddy's job came to an end back in October. That's OK...he really wasn't happy with the direction the company was headed. Said company decided to close its US market and concentrate on the international business. Hence, MacDaddy's services (heading up the US market) were no longer needed.


      A new business is evolving...and it looks quite promising. It's his own consulting business... and he's getting a lot of interesting feedback...and companies want him to rep them...It looks GOOD.


But...I worry. Yes, I know, God has all our needs met before we even need them...He is in control. BUT... 
Well, that's my problem. I am having trust issues. I worry about tomorrow...about next month...about bills...about...well, just about everything. Pretty lame, huh?


This journey is not one that was expected at this point in our lives...


      I have actually searched for jobs...but each time I find something that is suitable, doors close. So...I guess I am supposed to wait...to TRUST...to be patient. (Not one of my strong points!)


      And so I try to concentrate on my art...but as I said, it's been difficult to pick up that paintbrush...or that pencil.




But then, just today, I received a commission...just what I needed to get my mind racing with ideas. Thank you, GOD!


And MacDaddy just came into my studio to share some really good news. Thank you, GOD!


And in just a few weeks, I'll be holding my first grandchild (due at the end of the month)!!! THANK YOU, GOD!


And THANK YOU, GOD, for reminding me that you hold me in YOUR hands...that you truly understand my hurts, my fears, my worries, my sorrows...and my JOY. You KNOW me...and you LOVE me...FOREVER.


Thank you, God, for walking with me...and carrying me...and challenging me...and loving me...through this new adventure...throughout my whole life.

4 comments:

becky said...

Good for you, Jane!!! Things must be looking up...time to celebrate!

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Trust is so hard when we feel like everything has 'changed' and we are not in control. Hang in there it will be OK. Happy you got good news and a commission! hugs, Linda

jmac said...

You are a strong woman....you will handle all that comes your way in just that manner. Our lives are all so "iffy"....never knowing what will come our way on any given day.
Remember that we're all here for you when you need to vent, holler or just need someone to listen or laugh with you!
mwah!!

Kim@Snug Harbor said...

I am also struggling with the same trust and faith issues right now. Struggling to pay the bills everyday takes a toll. I'm happy for your good news. God will provide, sometimes his timeline is just different from mine.